Forty Six
by Skitty
Summary: It's been 46 years since Buffy's final death, and a human Angel is reflecting on their lives together.


Forty Six  
  
Disclaimer: Not mine, this is pointless  
  
Distribution: Take it, take it, just let me know.  
  
Rating: Umm... kinda depressing, so PG13?? *shrugs*  
  
Summary: Buffy's dead, Angel's sad  
  
Authors Notes: Don't hate me, I'll make them happy in another story, I promise!!  
  
Spoilers: None that I know of, but I'll say all BA references and basically everything 2 be safe, kay?  
  
Story:  
  
Buffy would be 74 today, as I am, legally. I miss her horribly, her smile, her laughter, the way she felt in my arms. I'll never have that again. I'll never have her again. She died 46 years ago, and it still haunts me. Twenty- eight. My heart died at twenty-eight. She was still so young.  
  
Dawn was 22, we had thought Buffy would last forever. We weren't ready. I'd only been human 2 years. We thought we had everything. Then Drusilla came back. 46 years ago, Dru decided to torment me as I had her, whether she realized it or not. When Buffy died, I chased Drusilla down. Spike, to my surprise, helped. He loved her, I realized it for real then. It wasn't some game.  
  
When I finally found her though, I went alone. She was going to kill me, turn me back into Angelus, and I welcomed it. I welcomed the monster. The reason I'm still living is a big ball called sunlight.  
  
46 years without her. She'd laugh at how old I've gotten. She'd crack up when she saw the nursing home. And joke about how after more than 300 years I'm finally acting and looking almost my age. God I miss her, so much. I can imagine everything she'd say, or do, or think, about every little thing that happens. I feel her arms around me each night, I dream of her, and I have to force myself to wake up, because I can't do it without her. I can't do anything without her. She's everything to me, still. I dream about her, and I can't breath when I'm alone because I can feel her hands on my chest, hear her laughs tinkling in my ear. She still says my name the way she used to, like she can't believe I'm real. Only now I know I am.  
  
I was never sure when she was around. Maybe I was some figment of her imagination, some picture that moved in her mind, maybe the whole world was. Because no real person could love her with the fire I did. But now I have to be real, because she's not, and her mind wouldn't put me through that pain.  
  
Riley Finn and his wife are here. When he recognized me, he looked shocked. Buffy said they knew I was human. I guess he just never expected to see me again. When I told him what happened to my Buffy, he cried. He, like Spike, truly had loved her. We've aquired something akin to friendship, Buffy would be happy about that.  
  
Dawn died awhile after Buffy, Giles too, in an earthquake. Neither of them even bothered to fight their destructions, without her, they had no one to love. Willow and Xander and Anya never recovered from their losses, I know, though i rarely see them anymore. We tried for awhile, because Buffy would have wanted us to be happy, and she would have wanted us to be together. But when Dawn and Giles were gone, none of us really had the strength to keep up the effort. Faking smiles takes a lot of practice, practice none of us had, because with her, we'd never need to fake.  
  
Faith got ouf of jail after Buffy died, the Council needed another Slayer. She got killed almost 2 weeks later. No one will ever live up to Buffy, in any way. Even the Council misses her. The new Slayer, Celene, was called yesterday, makes it almost 25 since Buffy. The demons and vampires don't bother to hide anymore. The demons and vampires don't bother to hide anymore. Buffy had them whipped. When they realized she was gone, they pretty much took over the world.  
  
People have the life expectancies of fruit flies now. I'm glad Buffy's not here to see this world. Sunnydale no longer exists. Vampire headquarters now. Slayers keep getting killed going in, trying to be the hero. Even my headstrong Buffy wouldn't do that. But then, if Buffy were here, it wouldn't be this way.  
  
Buffy said strong was fighting. The feeble minded humans aren't fighting. We're weak. We've given in. Evil is fighting. Evil is strong. Drusilla's dream's come true, now that they're both gone.  
  
Dawn told me once what Glory said to her. How she asked if their were any humans who could deal with their emotions. Told me she said Buffy could. It must have been true, because the world that never remembered to thank the beautiful Savior went out with her.  
  
She's gone. And so's all hope for this lousy world.  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~The End!!!~*~*~*~ 


End file.
